OBS Chapter 2279
Chapter 2279
Chapter 2279
She did this not to prove anything.
Rather, it was to give herself an explanation. Long ago, Sif was also a woman who loved beauty, just like other Asgardian girls. Although Asgard valued martial arts, it never required girls to be warriors. For example, the highly respected Queen Frigga was a witch. Although Frigga was not weak, she was definitely not an excellent warrior.
This reveals the Asgardians' view on gender differences: women can certainly be excellent warriors, which is a plus, but no one stipulates that women must be brave and skilled in battle. War is, after all, a man's domain.
Sif herself had forgotten what she dreamed of the future when she was a child.
She was Heimdall's sister and a childhood playmate of Thor and Baldr. Like most Asgardians, Sif was born with golden hair. However, during her teenage years, Loki decided to play a trick on her because she seemed to prefer Thor's company. He cut off all her golden hair while she slept. Upon discovery, Sif's cries echoed throughout the Asgardian capital. Knowing he would be punished, Loki rushed to the Dwarven kingdom and negotiated with the dwarves to have some pure gold wigs made for Sif as compensation. The dwarves agreed to his request, but Loki secretly prepared to break his promise. Loki did steal the hair and gave it to Sif. On Sif's head, the hair grew naturally as if it were real and shone even brighter than before. However, because the dwarves hadn't applied a special potion to the hair before Loki stole it, the hair began to darken and eventually turned completely black. When Sif started crying again, her parents grew tired of her vanity and sent her to learn combat, becoming a trained warrior. Years later, upon returning to Asgard and dressed as a warrior, Sif accepted her black hair.
What did I learn from this experience?
Helpless!
She didn't want to become a female warrior; she was forced by her parents!
At the same time, she was well aware that this was done to please Thor.
Because Thor was much more difficult to deal with when he was a child, he only liked brave girls!
You see, when Thor was a child, his biggest wish was to join the Valkyries and become one of them, until Odin and Frigga told him that a Valkyrie must first be a woman, and he wasn't.
Thor was deeply shocked upon hearing the devastating news!
To accommodate Thor's perverse hobbies, Sif was trained to be a female warrior from a young age!
Over the years, Sif has put in unimaginable effort to meet the expectations of others.
In other words, she has worked hard for so many years for something she doesn't like!
She hadn't thought much of it before, but after leaving Asgard and reflecting quietly, she realized that she... didn't seem to like that kind of life as much as she had imagined!
I saw a survey online that asked people about the five most common regrets before they die. One of them was: "I wish I could live for my own dreams, instead of living according to other people's expectations."
Bai Yansong once said, "If you always live according to other people's expectations, you will not live your life well."
Of course, Sif may not have heard of these things, let alone know Bai Yansong, but the principle is similar!
The root of a person's suffering is always living up to the expectations of others.
There's a short film called "Jasmine's Last Day." A girl named Jasmine, on an ordinary evening, jumped to her death without warning. Her parents were devastated, unable to understand why such a well-behaved and obedient child would commit suicide. Jasmine's mother decided to investigate secretly. During the investigation, the real reason for her daughter's suicide gradually surfaced. When Jasmine was little, she said she wanted to be a cashier when she grew up, and her mother said, "What a waste of your potential! You should be an accountant!"
As Jasmine grew up, she developed a love for literature and wanted to attend book signings by her favorite authors. However, fearing her mother's displeasure, she always rushed home early. In her mother's eyes, high scores on essays were useless; only excelling in mathematics could lead to great achievements. Jasmine's mother was highly accomplished, holding a master's degree from overseas studies, and had sacrificed her own career to become a full-time housewife. She hoped her daughter would be as successful as her, fulfilling her own unfulfilled dreams. Living under her mother's expectations and constantly suppressing her own true feelings, Jasmine grew increasingly anxious, developed severe depression, and ultimately ended her life by suicide.
Despite being an educational and cautionary film, many people saw themselves reflected in it: from childhood, they were required to be sensible children and get high scores to please their families; upon entering society, they were required to get a good job to make their families proud, and over time they forgot what they truly wanted.
In the book "The Courage to Be Disliked," the philosopher says, "There are almost no willful people who come to psychological counseling. On the contrary, many people are troubled by the need to meet the expectations of others, parents, or teachers, and are unable to live according to their own ideas."
You learned not to let others down, but you let yourself down. In your pursuit of others' approval, you ignored your own feelings; because you didn't meet their expectations, you fell into endless self-blame; all of this only leads to a humble, fearful existence. Sometimes, the source of suffering is living according to others' expectations, losing sight of your true self.
Don't use other people's standards to measure your own life.
I once read a story like this online.
Xiaoyu, a netizen, had a whirlwind marriage with her boyfriend. They met through their parents' introduction; the two didn't know each other well, let alone feel any affection or love. Because her parents approved, Xiaoyu married into marriage amidst their expectations. After marriage, lacking an emotional foundation, they didn't communicate much, and her husband often stayed out all night. Her in-laws advised her, "Things will be better when you have a child." Her husband also said, "Let's have a child soon, while Mom and Dad are still young and can help take care of them." The following year, Xiaoyu gave birth to a son amidst her family's expectations. Unexpectedly, conforming to others' wishes didn't bring her satisfaction. Her in-laws couldn't offer much help, and her husband didn't settle down; she still had to handle everything alone. She felt immense pain, often complaining that this wasn't the life she wanted. Constantly catering to others only brought her suffering. She thought meeting others' expectations would bring gratitude and rewards, but instead, she received disappointment and pain. Life isn't in someone else's blueprint; it's in your own hands.
I'm reminded of a speech at Stanford University's commencement ceremony: "You went to medical school because it's prestigious and everyone envies you. You chose cardiology because cardiologists are well-paid. You did those things to benefit yourself, to make your parents proud, to please your teachers, and to make your friends envious. One day, 20 years later, you wake up and start to miss the person who used to play the piano and hockey, and wonder what the person who used to have such passionate discussions about life, politics, and class topics is doing now."
Whether a profession is good or bad depends not on the experience of elders, but on one's own true passion.
Family happiness is not about fulfilling the expectations of family members, but about making choices that align with your own heart. Don't measure your life by the standards of others.
As Bacon said, "Everyone is the architect of their own destiny."
American psychologist Carl Rogers proposed the concepts of ideal self and actual self. The ideal self is the person one most desires to become, while the actual self is how one truly is under the influence of external factors. A person is unhappy because they haven't become the person they want to be. Constantly living up to the expectations of others only takes one further away from their ideal self, leading to frustration and anxiety. The more overlap and matching there is between the actual self and the ideal self, the more satisfied people are with themselves, and the more fulfilled and meaningful their lives feel.
Sif is an example of this.
She didn't know what happiness or unhappiness was before.
Anyway, just try your best to live up to other people's expectations.
Until Thor shattered that expectation.
This causes Sif to suddenly awaken from the dream woven by others.
Then I sadly realized that I seem to have always been living up to other people's expectations.
Until she started to resist... she suddenly realized that this feeling was amazing!
She chose to challenge Thor not to prove anything, but to give an account of her past self.
After working so hard for so long, shouldn't there be some result?
“Sif…” Thor was ashamed.
He desperately wanted to explain that he hadn't meant to hurt her.
But the words stuck in my throat, and I couldn't bring myself to say them.
So shameless!
Although he had a whole host of excuses, such as free love, or that he didn't like his feelings being arranged by others!
In short, he can say a lot of things in a grand and dignified manner.
But there is one thing he cannot deny.
That means Sif did nothing wrong from beginning to end!
Yes!
Thor couldn't blame everything on Sif... after all, not every man is a scumbag like Xu Zhimo.
But in some ways, Thor is very similar to Xu Zhimo.
Xu Zhimo was exceptionally talented and admired by many, but that doesn't mean he was a "perfect person." On the contrary, how should we describe him?
His private morality is quite despicable.
At least when it came to Zhang Youyi, this man was far from responsible; he could even be identified as a complete scumbag.
Zhang Youyi and Xu Zhimo were married through an arranged marriage.
Xu Zhimo received a modern education and always scoffed at the traditional custom of arranged marriage. However, this didn't mean he had the courage to challenge his parents and refuse the arranged marriage. Zhang Youyi's family was quite wealthy and politically powerful, and through her fourth brother Zhang Jia'ao's matchmaking, they formed a marriage alliance with the Xu family, who were already wealthy merchants in Jiangnan. At the age of 15, before finishing her studies, Zhang Youyi married Xu Zhimo, dropping out of school to become the young mistress of the Xu family in Zhejiang. Like Lu Xun, Xu Zhimo was extremely dissatisfied with arranged marriages. From before to after the marriage, Xu Zhimo held Zhang Youyi in utter contempt. Upon first seeing Zhang Youyi's photograph, Xu said with disdain, "A country bumpkin!" After the marriage, Xu Zhimo never even glanced at Zhang Youyi directly.
Shortly after Zhang Youyi gave birth to their eldest son, Xu Jikai (Ahuan), Xu Zhimo went abroad to study. Two years later, Xu Zhimo was forced to bring Zhang Youyi to his side. Zhang Youyi recalled the scene when Xu Zhimo greeted her at the ship: "I leaned against the stern deck, impatiently waiting to disembark, and then I saw Xu Zhimo standing in the crowd looking around. At that moment, my heart sank. He was wearing a long, thin black woolen coat and a white silk scarf around his neck. Although I had never seen him in a suit before, I knew it was him. I could tell from his attitude at a glance, I couldn't be wrong, because he was the only one among the crowd who looked like he didn't want to go there."
Even under an arranged marriage, Xu Zhimo had no feelings for Zhang Youyi whatsoever. But why did Mr. Xu lack even the most basic tenderness and respect for women?
Because Xu Zhimo was preoccupied with another woman, how could he possibly have room for Zhang Youyi? Zhang Youyi and Xu Zhimo lived in London, Sawston, and Berlin, during which time Xu Zhimo treated Zhang Youyi with the same unfriendly, even cruel, attitude. Soon after settling in Sawston, Zhang Youyi became pregnant. At this time, Xu Zhimo was preoccupied with Lin Huiyin and had no time for Zhang Youyi. Upon hearing the news, he immediately said, "Get rid of it quickly." Medical technology was limited in those days, and abortion was extremely dangerous. Zhang Youyi was unwilling to abort the child and said to Xu Zhimo, "But I've heard that some people die from abortions!" Xu Zhimo coldly replied, "People die from train accidents too. Do you see people not taking trains?"
Xu Zhimo insisted on divorcing Zhang Youyi, even though she was pregnant. Because Zhang Youyi refused to agree to the divorce, Xu Zhimo left, abandoning her in Saxony. As her due date approached, Zhang Youyi, in desperation, wrote to her second brother, Zhang Junmai, for help, and went to Paris, later to Berlin, where she gave birth. Xu Zhimo knew where Zhang Youyi was but ignored her. Only when it came time to finalize the divorce did he find her in Berlin and force her to sign the divorce agreement. This was the first Western-style divorce case in Chinese history based on the Civil Code! After signing the divorce agreement, Xu Zhimo accompanied Zhang Youyi to the hospital to see their youngest son, Peter. Zhang Youyi recalled that Xu Zhimo "pressed his face against the windowpane, gazing at him with utter infatuation," but "he never asked me how I would raise him, how he would survive."
The literary giants of that era, somehow "poisoned" by the Western spirit of freedom, all emphasized freedom of marriage and love, and resisted arranged marriages. But while they resisted and embraced freedom, why did they lack even the most basic respect and compassion for women? Especially, they lacked any sense of responsibility! They were unwilling to shoulder even the most basic obligations, truly unworthy of being called men. Resisting feudal arranged marriages sacrificed a woman's entire life. Zhang Youyi was also a victim of arranged marriage; she had already been exploited by feudal ideology once, and Xu Zhimo crushed her a second time… This poor woman, if she hadn't become independent, would probably have become like the stranger in "An Unknown Woman," humbled to the dust, even her final right to confide in men. Yes, I still prefer Zweig; his concern, compassion, respect, and sympathy for women, based on humanitarian sentiment, are different from Xu Zhimo's.
To get back to the point, in short, Thor and Xu Zhimo were somewhat similar in their lack of responsibility.
Of course, Thor was at least a bit better than Xu Zhimo. (I personally really look down on Xu Zhimo, and in fact, I don't really like those so-called masters of the Republic of China era... there were very few who truly cared for the country and its people.)