OBS Chapter 4561 The Day of Brightest Day (2)
Chapter 4561 The Day of Brightest Day (2)
Chapter 4561 The Day of Brightest Light (Part 20)
But Schiller didn't delve into this issue. He quickly glossed over it, saying, "It seems that one should continue to maintain the facade after reaping so many benefits from it. But it's not that simple. As you integrate into society by playing a normal role, you become increasingly aware that your pathological parts are out of place here. Your facade is welcomed, while your true self can only hide in the shadows, never to see the light of day. This inevitably leads to frustration."
“We find this trait in many serial killers. They claim they can’t fit into society, but in the eyes of their neighbors and friends, they are good people. Before the truth comes out, almost no one would suspect that they are such cruel people.”
"So when police receive similar statements, they think it's just a cunning criminal trying to shift the blame onto society or to gain the jury's sympathy. But in most cases, they are telling the truth."
"The perfect self they create can win everyone's favor, attract attention, and be flawless. But deep down they know that's not who they really are. Their true selves are ugly in comparison. Once exposed, they will scare everyone away—this may be an illusion, but they always believe it."
"And so self-hostility arises. The more they thrive with perfect pretense, the more they hate themselves for it; the more they want to unleash their true selves and transcend pretense with their true selves. As a result, they begin to put certain perverse and cruel ideas into practice, ultimately leading them to become serial killers."
"In their view, as long as one can prove that they are the best in a certain cruel field, they can win in the struggle against their own pretense. Proving oneself is not without advantages, proving that the existence of morbidity has its value, rather than being a piece of junk that should be completely eliminated."
Deathstroke's speculations about Schiller's motives began to lean increasingly towards the ominous. So, he infiltrated high society to become a serial killer?
Schiller then took another deep breath and said, "But that's not actually the case."
Deathstroke covered his forehead in exasperation, then said, "Isn't what you're saying just nonsense?"
“If I don’t let you know what most people are like, how can I explain what makes you and me special?” Schiller said, spreading his hands.
“Alright, go on.” Deathstroke decided not to interrupt him. He took another swig of beer; the first can was empty. He figured he’d need at least a dozen beers before he could hear anything about himself—this Schiller was just too long-winded.
Schiller seemed to sense his impatience, but he simply smiled and showed no intention of changing his tune. He shifted his position, leaning back in his chair, and continued.
"In a person's life, there are three self-confrontations. The first comes from one's own father. With his help, you need to eliminate the parts of your physical desires that shouldn't be there. For example, a boy's feelings towards his female relatives, and vice versa. Because this process happens so early, many people don't remember it."
"The consequences of failing to complete this self-confrontation will be dire. It doesn't mean they will molest their own family members, but it's worse than that. They will be unable to control their physical desires, becoming completely reptilian, with their entire lives revolving around 'sex.' But usually, due to the lack of control over the instinctive desires necessary to establish themselves in society, they will be unable to achieve a certain social status. The repressed desires will drive them even more mad, leading to a deeper sociological failure."
"The second confrontation often comes from the 'master,' or shepherd. In simpler terms, it's the first 'superior' you encounter after entering society. It's not just a boss, but someone you acknowledge and need to obey. He helps you eliminate the excessive selfishness in your emotional desires and teaches you how to find satisfaction in altruism."
"The consequences of not completing this round are also terrible. It will prevent you from having normal emotional exchanges with others, make you see your own efforts as painful, be blind to the efforts of others, be never satisfied, make it difficult to build long-term and stable emotional relationships, and make it impossible to show enough enthusiasm in social situations, resulting in an inability to achieve social status."
"And the third one comes from what I called 'disguise'. This is a real confrontation, like a final exam. The other two are just mock exams; even if you fail, it won't endanger society or be a matter of life and death. But this time, it's for real."
"The struggle between nature and society determines the kind of life a person will ultimately lead. Obviously, we both chose to let our social nature prevail, which is what I mean by common ground. But our reasons were completely different, which ultimately led us down different paths."
“Let’s start with the reasons. It seems that we only disagree on the third issue, but in fact, the seeds of trouble were sown in the first two issues, which ultimately led to the last one being completely different.”
"Can you imagine? Who were your father and your master? What did they do to you? How did they affect you in the ways I've mentioned?"
Deathstroke felt this question needed to be answered, otherwise it might influence Schiller's judgment, so he said: "My father left home very early. He boarded a ship when I was about four years old and never came back. My mother avoided talking about why he left, but from his behavior, it seemed there was some conflict between them, and she was abandoned."
"As for the kind of superior you mentioned, I can only think of my sergeant major when I was a recruit. He was an excellent soldier, but too violent. He would often beat and scold the recruits under him, and he liked to say, 'This is so that you won't lose your lives on the battlefield.' I was one of the best among them, but he didn't like me. I guess it was because of jealousy."
“As for what you’re talking about—physical desires, emotional desires, and the like—that’s really hard to understand,” Deathstroke said. “Did you study psychology or something? It sounds like the stuff of philosophers from centuries ago. I just don’t get it.”
“You just lack theoretical knowledge, but I think you have some experience. I can also tell you about my situation. My ‘father’ and ‘master’ are the same person, and it was he who helped me build the disguise. This led to the morbid losing all three wars, and I became what I am now.”
“That doesn’t sound good,” Deathstroke said.
Schiller shook his head and said, "In the struggle with yourself, the most important thing is not to forget that you are all yourself."
The death knell seemed stunned by these words, remaining silent for a long time. Schiller suddenly smiled, like a cat that had caught a mouse, not even concealing the excitement in his voice: "Now let's talk about you, Mr. Wilson..."
“Wait, you need to explain first how you know my name is Wilson.” Deathstroke hadn’t completely lost his mind. He squinted at Schiller and said, “I almost never tell anyone my real name. Even if you were the world’s best detective and hacker, you could only find out my alias.”
“Never mind that,” Schiller said. “I believe that’s the least significant factor in my assessment of you. Are you sure you’re ready?”
“I’m not sure,” Deathstroke said. “I kind of miss that orca.”
Schiller laughed again, but without delay, he said, “You failed in the first two battles. The consequence of your unrestrained physical and mental desires is that society’s discipline of you has been completely defeated in the third battle.”
"So, according to you, I must be a serial killer now."
“I said it wasn’t finished, not that you lost,” Schiller said. “Everything that happened to you is interesting, you could say it’s worthy of study. What interests me most is that the first two battles, which should have happened when you were four or five and around twenty, were strangely skipped over. What did you do?”
Deathstroke remained silent, the answer lying within his own heart. But then, Schiller's voice rang out: "So that's how it is."
Deathstroke looked up at him, and Schiller said, “You defeated your father with your exceptional talent. You pushed him overboard. This completely disrupted the whole process, not only failing to help you suppress your carnal desires, but also allowing them to grow infinitely. Your entire adolescence has been plagued by this.”
"In your excessive indulgence in romance, you got into some trouble. Then you went to the army—you definitely lied about your age. It's impossible that you met your superior at around 25; you must have been 16 or 17. That's way too early. You weren't ready for combat. And by the time your psychological development was complete, the optimal window of opportunity had been missed. As a result, your desires swelled infinitely, you became extremely selfish, and you demanded endless sacrifices from others. Such a person cannot adapt to the army. That's why you went to participate in that experiment."
"That experiment destroyed everything. Because of your immense physical strength, coupled with your ever-expanding ego, you were led to your destruction. It was inevitable. Desire overcoming reason will make you lose your caution and become full of weaknesses. An accident that could be described as a catastrophe almost took your life."
"The only unfortunate thing is that you made it through. Then you realized how important it was to let your social instincts prevail over your instincts. To get back on track, you had a wife and children, a perfect embodiment of your social instincts. But that's not enough at all."
Deathstroke was dumbfounded; this was the first time he'd been subjected to such a thorough background check without his knowledge. Schiller was absolutely right; the timing was perfect.
Schiller, seemingly unaware of his startling remark, continued on the previous topic.
"Social rules rise to the challenge, then fail. They face the challenge again, then fail again. You realize that society may be completely unable to defeat you, yet you tirelessly seek solutions. Finally, you encounter me. You believe that I might be the one who can help society successfully defeat you."
"So you start confiding in me, saying you regret taking this path, that you love your wife and children more. You show how much you want the social part to win. If I say, 'Yes, you're young now, you can choose again,' I'm afraid I'll have to help you reintegrate into society."
“Why not?” Deathstroke asked. “Consider it a good deed.”
“I would love to do good,” Schiller said, nodding without refuting him, “but it’s obviously not going to work.”
"What won't work?"
Schiller looked exasperated, as if he were dealing with a blockhead. He said, "I told you your problem was in the first two fights. What's the point of just winning the third?"
“So…” Deathstroke hesitated, “where should I go to find my father and master?”