OBS 236 Have you ever regretted it?
236 Have you ever regretted it?
"To be honest, my master, Madam Shao, hopes to have the opportunity to pay a visit in person..." At this point, everyone could see that Chu Yifan was becoming even more uncomfortable.
Chu Qingluo couldn't help but chuckle to herself as she looked at his awkward expression.
Since she 'lost her memory,' Chu Yifan truly hasn't appeared even once. He didn't come when she fainted and lost her memory after passing the exam to become a female official, he didn't come when she held her coming-of-age ceremony, and he didn't even appear when she became a sixth-rank female official... It's estimated that this time, Madam Shao in the mansion did a lot of urging her older brother, forcing this shameless guy to try to get closer to her, which can be considered quite difficult for him.
"Great! When you have time, please come back and visit with Madam Shao more often. Mother and I are really looking forward to you coming back." Regardless of Madam Shao's personality, Chu Qingluo was very happy that her older brother could come back to the mansion more often.
“Listen to what I just said? Third Sister likes the family to be happy together, am I right?” Chu Yilin smiled broadly, revealing a row of white teeth, and then winked at Luo Lifei and said, “Just like before, be casual.”
Luo Lifei glanced at him, then patted his arm for no apparent reason.
Chu Qingluo smiled as she looked at the two of them, increasingly convinced that they were a match made in heaven. Thankfully, Chu Yilin had turned over a new leaf back then, otherwise he would have truly missed out on a perfect match.
Seeing the atmosphere become so lively, and that Chu Qingluo, whom he hadn't seen for several years, had become as unconventional as Chu Yilin, he didn't want to spoil the mood by continuing with a bunch of grand principles, so he simply let them be...
When dinner began, after Ziyan and his uncles had all taken their seats, Grandmother Chu also arrived. It was Uncle Sihan who had specially invited her, along with Chu Yinuo.
It was a rare occasion for the whole family to reunite, and Chu's mother was overjoyed. This was much more pleasant than hosting a lavish banquet for guests. During the meal, almost everyone toasted Chu Qingluo as a way of offering their congratulations.
The reunion dinner lasted until 9 PM. Only after seeing everyone off did Chu's mother have a chance to go to Ningxiang Courtyard to have a private chat with Chu Qingluo.
"Qingluo, you don't seem very happy?"
Chu Qinglu smiled and did not deny it. "Nothing can be hidden from Mother's eyes."
"Mother knows you've suffered a lot in the palace. If you really can't take it anymore... then don't force yourself. Just resign and go home. Anyway, the family isn't short of your food."
Chu Qingluo glanced at her mother with amusement, then deliberately pouted and protested, "Look at what Mother is saying, I can earn money to support the family."
"Oh dear! I mean, even if you do nothing, your mother can still raise you to be plump and healthy!"
Seeing her mother's earnest expression, Chu Qingluo was deeply moved. She hugged her mother's shoulder and leaned her head against her mother's shoulder, saying, "As expected, Mother is the best!"
"What do you mean by good or bad? So what are your plans? They say it's lonely at the top, and the position of a first-rank female official must be difficult to hold."
"Sigh—" Chu Qingluo sighed softly and said, "It varies from person to person. Some people feel like they're sitting on pins and needles, while others enjoy it. Unfortunately, your daughter is one of those who feel like they're sitting on pins and needles."
Chu's mother glanced at her thoughtfully and said resolutely, "Then forget about it. We'll bring it up with His Majesty tomorrow and see." But then, fearing it might be inappropriate, she added, "But you have to act pitiful. Say... you're still young and can't shoulder such a heavy responsibility; or... say you're seriously ill and simply can't do what you're supposed to do."
"Mother has thought things through very well." As Chu's mother said this, Chu Qingluo nodded repeatedly, but in the end she gently patted her mother's shoulder and comforted her, "This matter is not for Mother to worry about, I have my own plans."
“…Alright.” After thinking for a moment, Chu’s mother asked a question she was more concerned about: “Besides this, tell me honestly, are you… still thinking about Gongsun Yu?”
"..." Chu Qingluo was taken aback at first and did not answer.
“I can see what you’re thinking,” said Mother Chu. “You’re always like this. Even if someone comes in, you just leave them hanging. That was the case with Gongsun back then, and it was pretty much the same with Wuyang. Now that the Seventh Prince is coming, I guess it will be the same.”
"...I didn't think that way." Chu Qingluo was embarrassed. She withdrew her hand from her mother's shoulder and stared at her fingers.
She really has no thoughts right now; her mind is completely blank.
"Of course your mother knows that Gongsun Yu is a good person. He even risked his life to save you and the Seventh Prince. He is a great benefactor to you and the Chu family. Your mother is not asking you to forget him, but just reminding you to cherish the people around you."
Seeing that Chu Qingluo was still keeping her head down and not speaking, Chu's mother sighed again and said, "Let me ask you, did you ever regret ignoring Gongsun Yu like that before?"
"..." Chu Qingluo still did not answer.
Of course she regretted it. She hadn't cherished every moment she spent with Gongsun. If she could turn back time, she would have greeted him with a smile from the very beginning.
But the reality is, time cannot be turned back, and there will be no more opportunities to truly cherish it...
"You're admitting it by not speaking?" Mother Chu continued, "Then let me ask you again, what if the Seventh Prince also met with misfortune and suddenly disappeared from your sight... Let me clarify, Mother is absolutely not cursing the Seventh Prince! Mother just wants to know, would you regret it even more?"
Upon hearing her mother's hypothesis, Chu Qingluo's heart skipped a beat. Images of Ji Qiran being shot and stabbed, his life hanging by a thread, flashed through her mind. At that moment, her heart was completely consumed by fear and heartache.
Seeing that Chu Qingluo was deep in thought, Chu's mother did not press her further. She simply sighed and said earnestly, "Life is short, only a few decades. I was too stubborn back then, wanting you to enter the palace as an official to fulfill my own unfulfilled wish. But after experiencing so much, I have finally come to my senses. The peace and safety of our family is more important than anything else."
"Mother..." Chu Qingluo looked at her mother with emotion, and she was truly at a loss for words.
Mother Chu placed her hand on the back of Qingluo's hand, patted it gently, and said, "Qingluo, I hope you can focus on the present, be happy, and don't miss out again."
"Hmm..." Chu Qingluo nodded.
The future is an untouchable unknown, once a distant and unattainable dream. Only the present is something tangible that we can choose and control.
She understands the道理 (principles/reasons). Live in the moment, live in the moment...
After Chu's mother left Ningxiang Courtyard, Chu Qingluo remained alone on the veranda, gazing blankly at the night sky. Tonight was another moonlit night with few stars, but the lonely moon appeared unusually large.
Feeling a gust of wind pass behind her, followed by a thin shawl being draped over her shoulders, Chu Qingluo assumed it was her mother returning. Without turning her head, she smiled and said, "Mother, don't worry, it's not cold at all."
The person behind spoke up: "I'm not afraid of the chill of the night, I'm afraid of your heart growing cold—"