OBS Chapter 54 Acknowledging one's own weakness
Chapter 54 Acknowledging one's own weakness
Words, mingled with tears, turned into fragmented syllables.
All Shen Zixin could feel was the uncontrollable trembling of the petite body in her arms, and the mournful cries that seemed to burn away her very soul.
"I... came here..."
Noah had turned away, burying her face deeply in his chest. The tear-soaked fabric clung to his skin, conveying the pain and despair in her heart.
"...I...I...I...I'll take...Xiaoling..."
She couldn't continue.
The following words were completely swallowed up by an even more intense sob that rose from deep in his throat.
Shen Zixin did not ask any further questions.
He simply hugged the "self" in his arms even tighter.
No further words are needed.
He understood everything.
—Oh, I see.
In that doomed future, in the end when all hope had been extinguished, her desperate choice was to abandon her last spiritual anchor.
She committed crimes in the name of "saving the world".
Shen Zixin also understood what Wang Tingshi had said in Noah's account—
"For a person, if she can sacrifice herself without hesitation to save the world, then she is undoubtedly a saint. But... if a person can not only sacrifice herself, but also give up the people she most wants to protect and cherish as a necessary price to achieve victory, then... how should we call her?"
The burden of making this decision far exceeds the sacrifice of self.
He could imagine it.
When Noah made up her mind, when she reached out her hand, when she accomplished all of that, what kind of hellish torment was she going through inside?
No matter how desperate the situation, it can't compare to this one—
Because this time, the person she wants to kill is not only her sister, but also herself.
It was that naive "Shen Zixin" who still harbored innocent fantasies about the world and believed in miracles and redemption.
This is the path that "Magical Girl Compassion" has taken.
However, although Noah exemplified loving-kindness, she still couldn't control her emotions, so she couldn't be as resolute as loving-kindness.
Did experiencing the beauty of this world make you waver?
Or was it that she was simply unable to choose this path?
After doing all this, Noah must have been devastated to discover that she had sacrificed her sister but only saved a parallel world.
Therefore, she had to save the world no matter what. Even if she couldn't save the original world, she had to save another one.
If you don't do that, your partner's heart will break down.
"You said I could... build new bonds with everyone in this world... and create a new future..."
"But do I still have the right... to embrace the beauty of this world?"
Noah's voice came through intermittently amidst her heavy breathing.
"After ending my sister's life with my own hands, I'm now comfortably enjoying my daily life with 'another' sister in this world... Don't you think that's disgusting?"
This is why Noah always emphasizes that "the 'family' in this world refers to Shen Zixin's family, not 'her' family."
"I... am just a selfish coward who fled to another world to escape reality."
She understands Shen Zixin very well.
Shen Zixin, who values her family most, is willing to protect everyone, and steps forward in times of danger—
Of course she knew. After all, this was the "herself" she used to be.
Therefore, Noah knew very well that "she" absolutely despised this kind of behavior.
"I can't even... look you in the eye. Because I know... once you know the truth... you will... look at me with the utmost disgust..."
After saying this, Noah closed her eyes, awaiting Shen Zixin's contemptuous look—
however--
Do you think I would hate you?
Shen Zixin spoke in an unprecedentedly calm tone.
Noah's sobs paused for a moment at the sudden question. She slowly lifted her head from Shen Zixin's embrace and looked at him—
"...How could I not hate it..." she retorted instinctively. "No matter who...finds this kind of thing...then..."
"Then, I'll tell you the answer."
Shen Zixin interrupted her.
"I won't hate you, not at all."
Even in the darkness, Noah could still clearly feel the other person's gaze... filled with regret and tenderness.
"If I were in your shoes..."
"If it were me, after those twelve years of despair, after losing all my companions, and watching the world head towards destruction..."
"If such a unique opportunity, requiring sacrifice, were to appear before me, that could reverse everything..."
"I will make the same choice as you."
"..."
Noah was completely stunned. She stared blankly at Shen Zixin in front of her.
What is he saying?
How could he possibly... agree with this...?
"This is not a crime at all, Noah. It's just... a heavy 'choice'."
"So, you are not a sinner. You are just an ordinary person who has carried too much, walked alone for too long, and is too tired."
"So, Noah..."
His voice was incredibly gentle.
"—It's ready."
"You've done more than enough."
"No one needs to bear those burdens anymore."
"Give me all that pain, all that confusion, all that past that you can't even forgive yourself for... Let me share it all with you."
"Because I am you. And you are me. No matter what you have done, no matter where you are going... I will always stand by your side."
"..."
It took Noah twelve years to barely build that wall of "strength" and "enlightenment" deep within her heart—
At that moment, it collapsed with a crash.
I could no longer suppress it.
"—Wa ...
The girl's cries finally broke free from all constraints, transforming into the most primal and pure howl, resounding throughout the silent night.
That wasn't sadness, nor was it resentment.
That was just a desperate cry from a child who had been lost for too long, finally finding his way home, the only thing that could prove his existence.
Shen Zixin didn't say anything more.
He simply held Noah tightly in his arms, letting her cry freely in his embrace.
It was as if they were trying to piece her already shattered soul back together, bit by bit.