Casual Heroing

Chapter 50: Momma's Boy

Chapter 50: Momma's Boy

Im smiling like an idiot.

Kissing Lucinda was good.

She had reciprocated, and we had stayed like that for a minute or two. After that, she got all flustered and left in a hurry after another quick kiss.

Hehe.

It was as if my heart had been floating on clouds, gently hovering above whatever mortal worry could affect a human. I was untouched by any thought, unfettered, impossible to move. I was the very definition of happily ever after even before anything had gone down. I had gotten my right-before-the-credits kiss, and that was already all-encompassing.

Lucinda is to me what Daphne had been to Apollo. However, if Daphne ran from Apollo in the myth and ultimately turned into a tree to avoid him, Lucinda did the opposite. She leaned into my chasing arms and, instead of turning into a tree, she gave me a kiss sweeter than honey, grander than an entire forest of goddamn laurels.

The most surprising thing is that we dont even know where this comes from. We dont know each other that much. We have bits and pieces of the other, at most. But she had a fire in her eyes that I had not expected, a glorious love fit for a heroic tale.

She almost made me wish I was a hero, slayer of monsters, rescuer of those whom life has brought low. But I was none of those things, nor I wanted to be. In fact, I was simply going for a walk among the empty streets toward the gates of Amorium. I need some targets to hit with my [Light] spells to let all this excitement out before I blow myself up.

But to be honest, it feels like I am the one whos been hit by something.

Love? A crush? A simple charm spell?

Who knows?

Im one of those guys who firmly believes in love at first sight.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

People say its dumb, unrealistic, unbefitting of a man my age.

But what can I say? Its just a natural thought on my behalf. I think that love exists, and its not bound by time. Intimacy certainly helps, and it will make such a bond lost a long time, but the spark of true love has to be there. And its metaphysical. Its a brief stare, one move, a glint of something.

Love is no more than a reflection of God in a dirty puddle.

It bewitches you, but you can only catch a quick glance, and you will never know if what you saw was the true embodiment of perfection or another speckle of dirt gallivanting in the waters.

And when I kissed Lucinda, it felt like a genuine [Thunderbolt], so much it hurts even more than getting zapped. And then it hurts even more when I cant see her again, tearing me to shreds.

I cant believe how lucky I am.

I mean, I just kissed my dreamy Elf crush.

Sure, I also betrayed my own beliefs about Elves being vile creatures. But who am I really to stand in the way of love?

Look at me.

Im not walking, I swear.

Im floating.

Its all too good to be true.

I dont even care that I have seemingly lost myself in some alley in Amorium. I could stumble inside the sewer system and still emerge victorious from the liquid waste, a prince covered in sewage.

Now, am I not the luckiest son of a

You are the flat-eared filthy Human bastard.

Well, that does sound about right, doesnt it?

Lady-goddamn-Luck.

Hello? I turn to my back and look at five tall and stocky Elves with a very mean look on their faces. Ahem, hello there, gentlemen, how can I help?

I know that being a smartass during a mugging is not the best, but its like a knee-jerk response for me. I cant help it.

We want to take a closer look at the idiot whos so hot even the Watch posted a guard on him, the shortest Elf in the group, clearly the boss, takes a step closer to me. And hes obviously wielding a dagger in his hand.

Am I getting shivved today right after kissing the love of my life?

Shoot, where are Lucillus and Antoninus when I need them? I thought they would be useless, and I would just waste their time. Oh, right, Day of Ancestors. My temporary and personal guards are probably spending the days with their families or something like that.

So, I focus on the overall picture.

The boss is still talking while my magic spins the threads and takes place.

This is the most potent spell I have ever attempted.

Its a dangerous spell.

But, oh boy, ten [Lights] instantly shoot at an insane speed, much faster than the one that penetrated my wall.

Those [Thugs] are clearly not high-level since every single one of them gets hit at least once. The first projectiles are aimed at the legs, and they almost all miss. I have no practice whatsoever with aiming, sadly. But the second one, I aimed at the chest. We are reasonably close, and aiming at the bigger part of their body is almost easy since not even one of them moved.

The boss and another guy, the tallest, look like they have sensed something, but the projectiles fly too fast for them to duck.

All the chest-aimed ones hit.

Five people lay down in the alley, three of them out cold, the boss and the tallest fellow writhing in pain.

I think I just cracked more than a dozen ribs just like that. Shoot. I hope I dont go to jail for this a passing thought about whatever laws may cover this event. Excess of defense, or whatever.

Without even thinking twice, I shoot at their legs again. This time, I feel my mind tired and miss two out of four shots. This multi-casting business is highly taxing. Only thanks to [Deep Focus], Im not bleeding my nose out. But the boss and his minion still get one hit each on their knee.

Theres a sickening crunch, and both start screaming in pain.

They shouldnt be able to chase me, now.

And they got what they deserved.

Listen, if you wonder whats going on and why I changed my mind so quickly, I have a pretty straightforward answer.

No one, and I say, no fucking one, insults my mother.

Call me a momma's boy or whatever you want, but my Mom is all the family I need in the world and the only one I cant do without. It might be my Italian roots, but my familys family. And the familys sacred. No one insults family and doesnt pay for it.

Its immature, and I just made some dangerous enemies. But a mans got to stand for something.

I feel nauseous.

Multi-casting moving [Light] projectiles is much more complex than creating the stationary [Lights]. It requires a degree of focus and effort that I had sorely underestimated.

I start stumbling away from the downed people. I hope I didnt seriously injure anyone.

Man, my head is spinning like crazy.

I bend on my knees and puke out the lovely lunch I had with Lucinda.

What comes after is the weirdest sensation I have ever experienced in my whole life.

Its like a sting, and it doesnt hurt as much as I thought it would after looking.

In fact, I look down at my side, and I find a dagger sticking out from it.

I start breathing heavily, and a blow rains on my head.

I think one of my teeth got busted, and I feel the metallic taste of blood in the back of my mouth.

Im on the ground without even knowing whats happening. I see a couple of figures that werent there before. They are now raining kicks on me. One of them bends to pick up the dagger from my side.

The kicks hurt like kicks. Which is a lot.

I dont even know whats what.

Im a simple ball of pain.

When they relent, more pain, delayed, hits me.

My thoughts are jumbled, and I cant parse out anything from the real world anymore.

I pass out just like that.